exciting literature
| our world today is full of exciting literature. sometimes, it gets put randomly on websites. |
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A Day At The Beach. With Brendan.
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There was once a girl named Jessy. Jessy Pain. She had a dried-up green highlighter, and she never ever used it. It's not really suprising that she didn't, because it was all dried up, but it was only dried up in a literal sense and not in any way related to its personality, so it was quite justified in feeling underappreciated. Still, it was just a highligher.
One day, this highlighter got to thinking about how green it was, and how dried up it was. Then it turned to philosophy, and realised that "I highlight, therefore I am." It promptly dissappeared.
Jessy Pain opened her drawer one day in the hopes of finding some company, and here's the twist: You thought that the highlighter had just dissappeared, but what I didn't tell you is that it became the Buddhalighter! It said unto her these words:
"Come, my child. There is no need for pain; only love."
She said "but how is it possible to love when there is so much pain.. and i dont like highlighters, i throw them out"(sic.)
It said "like this," and glowed in an amazing display of love.
She kicked it, and then got distracted by her foot, which she had just realised had a thumb growing out of the heel. It all made sense: the way she had always found it easy to grip to branches exactly as wide as the sole of her foot was long, and why she could never fit her shoes on without an uneasy sense that she was breaking her thumb.
"Gross!" said the Buddhalighter, and poof! It was a regular highlighter again. (Not many people know that the sound a de-buddha-ing makes is "poof", but I do, and now so do you.) Jessy grabbed it and picked it up and grabbed it and picked it up some more until it was level with her mouth, then she licked it.
"Stop it," giggled the highlighter, "you're tickling me!" So she did.
They paused awkwardly, then she licked it some more. In retaliation, it fell out of her mouth. She dropped to her knees and cried like the sissy wimp she wasn't, and that's why she didn't notice it sneaking around behind her. It removed its cap, and whop! Her extra thumb was bitten off! She was suddenly just like she's always thought she was! It was too much for her to take, so the story ended.
THE END
I hope you enjoyed that, kids! |
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don't touch that dial! |
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